Oswald

http://www.myutmost.org/03/0305.html
Chambers continues to inspire, teach and challenge me. Today's message assures me that there is a definite line of ministry service, but that the loyalty is never to the service, but to The One I am serving. The danger is always in wanting to say, 'oh, this is the thing to which I'm called. I will do it thoroughly, diligently, constantly.' But it is so much easier to do this than to stay flexible, open and moldable. Rather, the call is to our Lord Himself and saying yes to each path He shows us and no to all those many other things. Chambers states that the need is not the call, but rather it is the opportunity. There are more needs and places for 'good' service than I can ever fulfill. If I consume myself with filling every need that pops up in my path, I will be too busy or tired to hear the still small voice that tells me which way to go. I can wear myself out with work that looks superficially good, but is not God's specific place for me.
To quote Chambers, "The call is loyalty to the ministry you received when you were in real touch with Him. This does not imply that there is a campaign of service marked out for you, but it does mean that you will have to ignore the demands for service along other lines."
How we all wish that there was a definite "campaign of service marked out" for us. But that is the easy way, the human way. Find a trail and walk it till it becomes a rut. Sometimes I think we just want to figure out "the task" so we can get on with it...get up and be busy. Our Lord wishes us instead to sit at His feet and know Him. And this is the challenge. Am I up to that challenge? I must tearfully admit that I have not been. What am I waiting for? When will I begin to take the time for this?
Thanks for the book, Kathy. I pray it is the beginning of a deep journey for me. With your help only, Lord.

Write now?

Doing some art/crafts...enjoying the fire...being tired...wishing I had a doctor to ask for sleeping pills...thinking about going to any doctor to talk about not sleeping...wondering why I'm writing senseless drivel...glad I made chocolate chip cookies today...wondering if Sam got with Russ this weekend...counting in weeks now...watching way too many decorating shows...should be dremeling.

surprise phone call

When the phone rang Saturday morning, I was still in bed. You know that moment when you decide if you're going to get up and answer it or let it go to the answering machine? I was glad I decided to get up and answer it as soon as I heard the reply after my "hello". "Mama Joseph?", the caller asked. Shock. It had to be an African. But who? And why? My mind raced. I don't know any Africans in America, so they had to be calling from thousands of miles away in Kenya. But who do I know that can or would spend the money for a call to America? Shock again. It wasn't bad news. It was just Baba John, our friend who owns the shop in Maralal where we buy a few groceries. He was calling just to greet us and see how we are doing. We talked for a minute and then I got Charlie on the phone for him. They talked for quite a while and he shared the good news that things are going well in Maralal. What an encouragement for us to receive a call all the way from Kenya. Thanks, Baba John.

Got back today from an overnite away with mom and a friend in small town Texas. It was great. We poked around in the little downtown antique shops and had lunch at a tearoom. It was a fun weekend. And then on the way home, I saw Girl Scouts selling cookies outside Brookshires and had to buy some. I haven't had Girl Scout cookies in 4 years or more. I think I will try to wait until tomorrow to eat some. I've had enough bad for the tummy food for the last 2 days, that I feel like I should wait. We'll see how that works out. Looking forward to another trip like this in a few weeks with the "girls" from high school. We always have a good time. They are promising to come visit me in Kenya in for our 50th birthdays in 2010. I sure hope they do. What a wild time that would be. Got to put J to bed now.

Reality Check

Charlie talked to one of our (American) friends living in Kenya this morning. It didn't sound good. While I have been aware that things would need to settle down some, I am now feeling that it will really take change of large proportion for us to be able to return at the end of March. The way things are today, we would not be driving up country from Nairobi. He says the guest house and hotels in Nairobi are already full. Several of our colleagues have moved to town away from their homes in the highlands outside Nairobi. Others who were in Kenya for a meeting were sent back to their homes in neighboring countries as the meeting was cancelled. While we are not hearing (or asking for) any official word, the signs are there. A lot needs to happen in 2 months in order for us to return. What does God have in store? I'm confessing a little anxiety as we seem to be stepping toward uncertainty. However, I am excitedly expectant because I know whatever it is will be for our good and His glory as long as we are faithful and obedient.

Kenya

How sad it is to see what is happening in beautiful Kenya. It is difficult to read the new stories, but even worse to watch the videos. Many of us are praying for peace. It's a very sad time for Kenyans everywhere as once peaceful people have turned on one another in a shocking display of hate and anger. It brings tears to my eyes and I can't help but wonder what it will take to end it all.

what i like about U(sa)

People always ask me what things I miss most about America. From the comfort of this recliner in this cozy cottage with fireplace, it's a pretty easy question to answer. We return to Kenya in 2 months. Here's what I'm enjoying now that I won't have then. The fireplace. Graham crackers and fresh milk. TV shows with actors that speak American English. Yes, I know TV is mostly not good, but it is so relaxing just to listen to people speak your mother tongue. Hearing language spoken the way you grew up listening to it says you're home among people who understand you...even if they really don't...it's just a sort of facade that feels good. The reverse...being surrounded by no one who speaks like you is a constant reminder that you are a stranger in a strange and different land. All of those type reminders are the reason it is good to take a break every few years and visit home soil. It's like I saw on "Raymond" yesterday (which comes on for several hours every afternoon. I'm a junkie for that show, I don't know why) Anyway, he was trying to tell his wife how it was going to be living right across the street from his parents as opposed to miles away. He flicked her on the nose and she says, "ow". He explains that even though that is annoying, if it only happened once in a while, every month or so, it's not so bad, is it? Then he starts flicking her on the nose repeatedly, pow, pow, pow. See? Now that's annoying. Well, it's not annoying living overseas. And it's not bad hearing people speak differently than you do. Or not having American television. Or Walmart. Or graham crackers or any of another million things. On their own, no big deal. But when you start piling them ALL on and watch them multiply exponentially over a period of several years, all of a sudden you realize the need to go somewhere, suck in a big breath, let it out and go "whewwwwwww." Exhale. Then after a few months, you wish you were back in the other place. And so it goes. This will be our 3rd term in Kenya. I think it may be the one that qualifies you as a real missionary. I've no idea. No one has handed me a manual that tells me those things. I wish they would. It would be interesting to read someone else's perspective. That's why I love reading missionary biographies. It is a minority population segment, a culture within a culture, that I think is best understood as all cultures are... by those who have lived it.